Try Not To Laugh

So the other day, my wife and I were home with Jake and hoping to enjoy some "quality" time with the boy before Kaitlyn got home from school. As is normally the case, however, he had other ideas.

We were all in the study, I on the computer, Jennifer on the couch reading a book and Jake doing his own thing. I don't think he realized he said this but we heard him say "oh shut up you." Well, of course this came as a shock to us and we quickly reprimanded the boy, telling him it's not nice to say that to people.

"Stop it, chicken nugget head" he snapped back. That's about the most extreme thing he knows to say, especially when he's mad.

"Jacob" I said, with a little more edge to my voice, "you need to stop it right now or you're going to get a swat on your bottom."

"NO!" he shouted back in defiance.

"Young man, apologize right now or you're going to get a spanking and go to your room" I responded.

"Quit it, Daddy or I'm not gonna be your best friend. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" he yelled.

T-minus 3...2...1...and liftoff! Daddy's hand missile was launched and scored a direct hit on the best target on his backside. However, it's impact was only about a 3.5 on a 10 scale. It was meant as more of an attention / pride debunker, not a stinger....which I'm more than capable of delivering when it's most necessary.

Jake looked back with a look of feigned shock and repulsion, an almost "what are you doing? I was only kidding" look to his face. But for good measure, he tried to turn on the faucet. Seeing how it wasn't working though, he began to "wail" at about an 8 on a 10 scale.

"OK, now go to your room and think about it" I said sternly.

He proceeded to move toward the stairs but was in absolutely no hurry to comply. Let's put it like this...I've seen grass grow quicker than he was moving that day. So, I stood up to help corral him toward his room.

Amazingly, his pace picked up and he began to bound up the stairs...all 17 of them.

I followed about 4 steps behind, ensuring of his safe delivery to his intended destination when all of a sudden, he stopped, stood straight up and whirled around, looking at me with the most determined, mad face he could muster.

"I'm about to get really mad at you guys" he hissed.

Immediately, my head spun around and buried itself into my armpit, trying like anything to stifle the uncontrolled laughter from deep within. As I did, I saw Jennifer throw a pillow up over her face, attempting to drown out her fits of laughter as well.

"Go to the angry place" I whispered inside my head. "Do NOT let him see you laugh, you inefficient stooge."

"I'm really mad at you, Daddy..." he repeated.

I blurted out the only thing I could muster at that moment.

"I'm (giggle) about to get (snort & giggle) mad at you if (snort snort) you don't do what I said, Jake" I blubbered.

Cautiously I turned back to face my aggressor and saw he was already on his way up to his room. Apparently, I'd won this mini-battle but I know the war is no where near over.

"God," I prayed within "I want to do what's best for that boy and discipline him properly but how can I do that when I can't keep from laughing at him and his responses?"

I'm still trying to find a scripture I can refer to during those times of stifled laughter & corporal punishment.

That kid is going to make me gray before I'm 40. God give me strength. LOL