Who Am I (part 7)?

After 9-11 and my awakening to God's voice, I began to notice my priorities really beginning to change. Work and personal success were no longer as vital to me and defining me as a person. I was more into my family, raising our daughter and most importantly, figuring out how to hear from God on a regular basis. What did I need to do to grow more in Him each day? As simple as the first steps are in any relationship, they're also the most difficult, primarily because it's something new. Although this was indeed something I wanted in my life (to grow in God's will) I needed some direction and I figured it all began with reading the Bible.

Easier said than done.

How do I do this? Just throw it up in the air and began reading on whatever page it landed on? No, I needed and wanted a more defined way to dig into His word. I'd heard from a few people that the book of John was a good place to start then move on in the New Testament and begin reading Psalms and Proverbs as well.

So I tried this...at night, when I was the most exhausted and worn out. As you can imagine, I didn't get this into a daily routine for quite a while. In fact, although I was trying to do what He wanted from me, reading and understanding the Bible was extremely difficult. The church we were going to wasn't a big help either because one of their "doctrinal" points was that they had no "doctrine" and they allowed for each person to interpret things (ie: the Bible) in their own way.

Hmmmm...something about this didn't feel right. I can interpret for myself what God is saying? How do I do that...I just heard His voice for the first time a few months ago. I need some help here. I needed some strong Biblical teaching from a well-grounded person who knew the Bible inside and out and was good at communicating things to people.

Let's hit pause for just a moment on the "spiritual front" and move over to the "career front".

After 9-11, everyone's life was affected and in many ways we'd have never realized. Jennifer was supposed to fly out to a medical testing conference a week after 9-11 but as you can imagine, those tests were postponed. We were also supposed to take Kaitlyn to Flordia to Disneyworld for a week's vacation but, again, we rescheduled it until sometime in November.

Now, in the "wonderful" world of radio (haha) there are certain times when on-air people are not allowed to take time off. It's a 3 month ratings period affectionately known as "the book". It's when Arbitron mails out thousands of diaries to people, hoping they'll take the time and be honest about their listening habits. What station they listen to, which jocks they like (and don't), how long they listen to each station, what are the elements of said staion(s) that keep them as a listener, etc. Apparently, a jock being gone for 3-5 days during "the book" is enough (in some GM's minds) to lose listeners. Logic would make you believe that if this were true, DJ's were actually very important to the overall success to the station...and perhaps were paid that way, right?

Wrong.

We were constantly hammered, both by our bosses as well as the ever increasing presence of automation machines, that we could be replaced rather easily and we should be happy to work for just dollars above the poverty level.

Seriously.

Who were we to complain about trying to provide a living for ourselves and our families by only making $15,000 a year? GM's would sneer their lips at you and make you feel like you were lucky they took the time to breathe in your general direction, then tell you to hit the road...you weren't getting a raise.

Then, if you were lucky, you watched said GM leave his office, hop into his new sports car or SUV (which was probably bought on trade with one of the local car dealers) and leave for an extended lunch...usually about 2 hours. I'll never forget the smug look on a certain GM's face who literally laughed in mine when after he refused my request for a raise, I told him the reason I needed more money was so I could afford to buy insulin and syringes to stay alive. I revealed I was able to do it by having to occasionally pawn my personal effects (ie: stereos and CD's) to have enough money to do it.

You'd have thought I was on Showtime at the Apollo. He fell out on the floor laughing in hysterics, either under the impression I was joking (which I wasn't) or proving to me he absolutely had no heart.

Insanity is what it is. I can't tell you how happy I am to NOT be in that kind of rat race anymore.

So then, back to Disneyworld. I was lucky enough to have mentioned this to the people at KPLA before I went to work for them, because at that point, we had already bought our plane tix and made hotel accomodations. Naturally, they balked at my requests but they knew I was immediately available and consented to let me take a week off. Once 9-11 hit, we were able to reschedule to November.

While it was an incredible trip for us and especially for Kaitlyn, who wore her Minnie Mouse dress and tap shoes nearly every day, there was a somberness on the last night we were there. I'll never forget the image of Kaitlyn staring off the back of the ferry that was taking us to our van. It was about 9:30pm, it was pitch black and the only thing you could see behind us was Cinderella's castle. There were soft purple and blue spotlights on it, illuminating it in the Florida night. Kaitlyn was captured by it's "magic" and as she clutched to her Minnie Mouse doll, stood up on her tip toes and pointed toward the castle.

It was a precious moment for Jennifer and me. Who knew if we'd EVER be back to Disneyworld again? Who knew if the terrorists would strike central Flordia the next time they tried to attack our soil? Who knew what the future held? Uncertainty and a bit of sadness filled my heart. I really didn't want this night or this vacation to end.

But it did. The incredible memories we had on that trip have stayed with us like we were just there last week.

We left Flordia and made our way back to Columbia, full of excitement of what we just had done for a week but also had some trepidation about having to go back to work. No one ever wants to come back to work after a great getaway, do they? If only we had something we could bring back from the trip that would help us look past the daily grind of work and remind us of the great time we had in Orlando.

Yeah...if only.

Remember that commercial about 2 years ago where the mom is in the elevator with her 3 year old daughter and 2 month old baby in a stroller? There's another lady in the elevator who comments on the kids, saying how cute they are or something like that. The little girl pipes up and says "we just got back from Disneyworld. My mom said my brother Joey is a souvenir."

Man, that sounds awfully familiar. May I introduce our little Disneyworld souvenir, Jake.



"M-I-C...see you real soon! K-E-Y...why? Why? Because it's cramped as all get out and I'm starting to get a real bad charlie horse!! Now get some ice cream and nachos down the chute PRONTO or I'll start rearranging the family room in here...and trust me, you won't like what I do with the walls!!"