Who Am I (part 5)?

I had this blog already written once today but somehow, the "connection" between my computer and Blogspot was lost, thus erasing my firts attempt. So, take 2...

If you've been following along, the last thing I talked about was the erroneous assumptions I'd made about my wife and the horrendous odor I had smelled for over 2 hours on the way to our romantic weekend together. Without having to relive the entire event, just scroll down and read the latest. While you're at it, go back and take another gander at the night Kaitlyn was born. I'm going to start today's blog after her birth.

We'd been in Columbia for a couple years and life had changed big time for us. Jennifer was in her second year of residency at the Univ of Missouri, I was the program director of a classic rock station (KCMQ) and we had a new baby girl, Kaitlyn.

Skipping ahead a few years, I could tell things were changing for all 3 of us. Jennifer was really getting into her residency and actually moving up in the ranks of radiologists. We'd started talking about moving into a house instead of our duplex and thoughts of a second child surfaced a time or two. I was still the PD of KCMQ but with most things in life, nothing ever stays the same. We were about to flip from a classic rock format to mainstream rock. What this means, basically, is that we weren't going to be playing as much "older" rock music. We were going to skewer our target demographic a bit younger (men 18-49) instead of the classic rock demo (traditionally 25-54). This was a move I'd been wanting to make for quite a while but since it wasn't my broadcasting company and I didn't sign the checks, I had to go with the flow and continue to try and make KCMQ (classic rock) a viable station in the Columbia-Jefferson City market(s).

During this time, I began to get something I'd hadn't quite had to figure on before we had Kaitlyn.

Morals. Standards. Responsibility for people other than myself. So with this, I had to really start paying attention to what I was listening to in my car whenever Kaitlyn was with me. We had had an "adult" morning show that was known for it's blue humor, although it wasn't as bad as Howard Stern. The show was the Bob & Tom show, syndicated from studios in Indianapolis. They were known for a lot of "degrading" humor towards women as well as just downright filthy language. although it was never bad enough for the FCC to step in and issue fines. Thus, with this show on during the mornings, I'd never listen to it while I was taking Kaitlyn to daycare.

Something about these weird "morals" I was developing...and also hypocritical. I was having issues listening to Bob & Tom with kids in the car but had no trouble listening to it, promoting it and working at the station it broadcast from in Mid-Missouri.

In addition to my new-found sense of responsibility and morals, we'd started going to church as a family. Both Jennifer and I went to church constantly as kids but when we were married, we behaved like newly marrieds...stay up late Friday and Saturday nights, sleep in 'til the crack of noon, get up for a late morning brunch at some restaurant then hit an early afternoon movie. That was our life and we were cool with it. But when Kaitlyn came, we knew we wanted to start bringing her up in a household that lived according to Christian values. We found a church that we really loved. It was warm & friendly, big enough to not be considered back woodsy but small enough to feel like the pastors knew us by our names AND it had a great kids' program.

With the common sense of not wanting my baby girl to hear filth on the radio (not to mention, the embarrassment I felt for "Daddy" working at a place like that) plus the Christian values we'd started getting reacquainted with, going to work began to become a drag. I knew that as Kaitlyn got older, KCMQ was not a place I wanted to be fully associated with. If I could choose any station and remain in radio, I'd have wanted to go to an adult contemporary station...one that was family friendly and played music that I wouldn't have to turn down if Jennifer or Kate were in the care. Too bad for me...the only station like that was across town at the competition and I didn't have the courage to just go in and quit KCMQ.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to make that choice on my own.

2 days after KCMQ flipped from classic rock to mainstream rock, the management called me into the office of the operations manager, closed the door (uh oh...this isn't a good sign but they wouldn't fire me outright would they?) and fired me.

First time for everything I guess.

Mad, livid, furious, hurt and feeling like I'd just lost something I'd helped create now being seen to completion by other people, I began to develop a HUGE sense of resentment toward Zimmer Radio. The methods in which they touted how they "coached" people were totally thrown out the window in my instance and they just let me go. Period. No second chances, no days off to consider my future employment, no paid day away from the station, no UNpaid day away from the station...nothing. Just "this isn't going to work...goodbye".

(Note: I'm happy to tell you that God is much bigger than I am and more able to change lives and hearts than I could even think of doing on my own. I had dear friends there at KCMQ and can unabashedly say today I still have some great, dear, loved people there. Although I don't understand fully the why's and how's, I'm grateful that God saw me through that difficult time and began to use this experience to show me He had bigger things in store.)

So, there I was. No job, 2 months severance (which was very cool and unheard of for ANY prior ZRG employee who'd been released) and full of bitterness. It took me about 2-3 weeks of feeling sorry for myself until I grabbed my boot straps and headed out to the competition. I'd heard that there was a 2-7pm shift available on KPLA, which just happened to be the A/C station I'd wanted to be a part of once Kaitlyn was born.

After a few interviews and (hopefully) convincing the management there at KPLA that I was not a bad apple, I landed the afternoon gig as well as the music director position there. What I thought was going to be smooth sailing and a new, much better chapter in my career became painfully aware that was not going to happen.

One thing you as a reader should be aware of is that radio people, by and large, are very egocentric and ego driven. It's part of this "confidence" that helps us mold our "personality" on the air. While some people may be completely like their on air personality, most are completely opposite. The loud, obnoxious rock jock you can't stand is probably a very likeable, quiet and subdued person. Such was NOT the case of my new boss and program director of KPLA.

Jim was extremely paranoid and was that guy that could never seem to gel with most people. Sure, he'd be at every party and have a good time, but he wasn't the one people would flock around. He was nice enough, I guess, but I could tell he was very intimidated by me...and I kept trying to break the ice with him, assuring him in a passive manner, I was not after his job. The trouble began almost immediately.

One other radio secret you may or may not know is that most radio people don't use their real name on air. Think about it...does your real name sound fun and exciting, like you could actually be someone else (this was a reality for me on several occasions...Jim Hunter was no way like me in real life). I'd been "Jim Hunter" since 1993 (13 years) yet one of the first things they wanted me to change was my air name. I can kind of see why.

KPLA's morning show was called "Hunter and the Hawk", consisting of Sara Hunter and Tom "the Hawk" Bradley. PLUS, in a rare stroke of coincidence, Sara's real life hubby's name was...you guessed it...Jim. So no go to me being "Jim Hunter".

And, being the paranoid, irrational figure that he was, Jim was pushing hard for me to lose "Jim" as well.

Come on people...Jim is my REAL name. I have to abdicate that too??? Ugh.

Tom stepped in to try and help the situation. He had been PD years earlier and always saw the forest through the trees. I think he kind of knew what game Jim was trying to play with me so Tom made a bit out of finding a name for the new afternoon guy.

He reasoned that since I was the music director, the intials after my name would be M.D. Plus, he was also aware my wife was a doctor, another M.D.

"Dr. J?" he asked.

"Well, it's OK...I guess" I responded.

Apparently, the "J" reminded some listeners of Jayhawks...as in Kansas Jayhawks, the arch rival of the Tigers of Mizzou. Thusly, "Dr. J" was out.

I groaned inwardly at what my new name was slated to become.

"Ladies and gentlemen, KPLA's new afternoon guy, Doc Ragsdale!"

Doc Ragsdale? THIS is the best a morning guy can do?? Argh. How humiliating and repulsive. Suddenly, a continued career in radio seemed to get bleaker by the day, especially with the fake "enthusiasm" Jim showed me. None of it was genuine and I was becoming nothing more than someone he could push around at his whim.

I began to wonder if there was yet to be another unexpected life change coming up. Surely, I wasn't going to end up as an afternoon jock with a ridiculous name and an insensitive boss, was I? Was God trying to tell me something? Was there something more for me out there but, as with KCMQ, did I not have the courage to find it on my own?

I had no idea how close to the truth I was, but I was about to get a wakeup call that would entrely affect every aspect of my life.