10 Things You Never Knew About Me...Maybe

OK...my friend Laura has "tagged" me over on my myspace page to list 10 weird or unusual things about me that may not be widely known. Since it's been a long time that I've last logged into the captain's log here, I thought I'd indulge and see if blogging again will help stimulate some creative juices.

Therefore, by somewhat (non)popular demand, here are 10 exciting and life-changing facts about me you probably never...EVER...knew. Consequently, they are probably some things you wish you could un-visualize out of your mind.

You're welcome.

1. I have been known to laugh in my sleep. Yes, it's true. While others talk or even walk, I laugh. It's hard NOT to laugh when I actually dream in cartoon (at times) as I become a participant in a Daffy Duck episode.

2. There must be something within me that doesn't allow me to sleep normally. Besides laughing in my sleep, I also snort. Think rabid hog pawing the ground and growling in a guttural way only a pig/boar could do. That's me. Couple that intense sound with it happening in the middle of the silent night and you've got a not only terrified wife but one who quickly becomes repulsed, bemused and has probably had thoughts of making me "eat" a pillow in my slumber. I keep telling her this snorting is my "fight or flight" reflex and that I'm doing this in my dreams to frighten off Bigfoot. I often see him peering through the windows or over the fence and this snorting is my way to scare him away.

It usually works.

3. Since I dream of Bigfoot, I guess you could say that somewhere deep inside me is a belief in ol' Sasquatch.

4. I admit to liking Michael Bolton's music. I thought he should have gotten farther on the recent "Clash of the Choirs" but I felt some of his early song choices were not as strong as the other choir leaders. However, judging from Michael's past awards he's received without my advice, I'm sure he knows a little about what he's doing.

5. I almost blew the existence of "Santa Claus" this Christmas Eve for my daughter. As the children were on their way up to bed, I was coming down the stairs with my wife's gifts. The ONLY gift that I'd written "From Santa" just happened to catch my daughter's eye. She quickly called a private meeting with my wife about the validity and very existence of St. Nick. Fortunately, my wife was able to patch the leak in the hull and we made it through Christmas with the belief still in tact.

Barely.

6. I believe I am becoming narcoleptic. I find myself falling asleep nearly EVERY time I try to sit and read something...ANYTHING. So, any book I begin usually winds up back on the shelf with maybe 1-2 chapters conquered. I need more authors to do a one chapter novel so I can feel like I'm expanding my mind somewhat. Also to further my claim of hitting "la la land" without much aid, I am usually asleep well within 30-60 seconds of my head hitting the pillow. This happens even after a large cup of coffee/tea or a diet Rockstar.

Nothing keeps me awake any more.

7. I have conversations with myself and usually wind up on the losing end. Don't ask me how but it happens.

8. A guilty pleasure movie of mine is Roadhouse. I admit it. Swayze is so cheesy in this flick (as is Sam "let's go get a beer even though we just got our butts whipped" Elliot) but I don't care. I just can't NOT watch it whenever it's on. I predict one day this movie will have it's own network.

9. I once had a solo in my first grade Christmas performance. It was the bridge to "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town". You know the part..."he sees you when you're sleeping..." I had practiced it days beforehand in a lower octave but the day of the performance, I sang it in a higher range. I sounded like a Vienna Choir Boy attempting "Ave Maria". Instead of the applause and affection I was hoping for, I was met with laughs and guffaws from everyone from my classmates to teachers.

The mental scar within still seeps...

10. I am actually laughing out loud as I type these items about me. I suppose it's either a realization of how funny or pathetic I truly am. Or...judging by my occasional night-time activities, maybe I'm actually sleeping.

OK...there you have it. 10 "interesting" things about me. If you're not amused or tempted to come back next month to read this page again, I promise I'll try to do better next time.