Busy Bees

I always thought that summer was supposed to be a sort of "down time" for family & friends to chill out and hang together. True, we've had a lot of great fun traveling to places like Branson, Nashville and all points in between. But when we have been home, it seems like we are just buzzing around the hive at 90mph!

For starters, Jennifer just started a new job with a radiology group here in Fayetteville. After working with her former group for the past 4 years and watching everything around them crumble down (ie: partners retiring, losing vacation and time off, no help in recruitment, etc), she was offered an opportunity to join a group where she'd be working 4 days a week, no nights, no weekends and no call!! Talk about a real answer to prayer!

She's been at the new group since August 1 and although there have been a few areas of adjustment to contend with, as there normally are with any new job, her routine is starting to smooth out as she becomes more familiar with their style of work. Her new group have all been so wonderful thus far and are almost insisting she start thinking about vacation. They've even gone so far as to reschedule next Monday for her so she can be there when Jake starts his first day of kindergarten. They did all this without telling her until it was all done! How cool is that?

Speaking of Jake, it's hard to realize he is indeed starting kindergarten next Monday (Aug 20). We get to meet his and Kaitlyn's teacher this Wednesday and get any last minute details to help get the kids ready. Even in the midst of all this excitement, it's kinda hard to see your little boy step out and get ready to begin school. Sure, he's done preschool programs for the past 2 years but for me especially, since he is a major reason why I quit radio to stay at home, it's going to be tough watching my little buddy (my "mini me") go off into the big world of kindergarten.

However, as much as I fear and worry for him, it's tripled that for the teacher who'll get him! LOL

I have a weird feeling I'm going to not enjoy those parent/teacher conferences as much when I meet with his teacher. Something tells me I'm not only going to be "getting it" from the teacher but I'll also be on the receiving end of "the eye" from my wife. You know...that look that says "he is SO much like you and for that, YOU will suffer my wrath!"

You know...loving looks like that. HA!

Kaitlyn has had quite the jam-packed summer too. She's been to a few cheerleading day camps in addition to her night classes (she's even taking a secondary class called "flight school" where they are throwing my baby up in the air and teaching her how to fall into their arms properly) and with all this activity, she's really getting herself into great physical shape! She also got back from church camp last week and aside from a few snooty girls who she had to room with and some unbearably hot days, she had a great time. We were so grateful and excited to have her home...as we then put the kids to bed within 2 hours of her arrival!

Hey, that summer heat can make you tired a lot easier and the kids need their rest. LOL

I've had my plate full too. I've been running the kids back & forth to whatever activity or friend's house they got going on, running myself back & forth from the health club to even running the hot & humid streets of Fayetteville (I've lost close to 20lbs), had numerous yard projects that have included weeding out gardens and trimming any & every plant and mowing the yard to now, much to my shagrin, I've been recruited by my wife (I didn't even receive a vote) to do some painting around the house.

As of this morning, we have these rooms listed for a color change:

guest bathroom, the playroom, the master bedroom, the master bathroom, 2 walls in the hallway and possibly Kaitlyn's room and the kitchen.

It's good to know I won't be out of a job once the kids go back to school, right?

With all the activities we've all had, I feel like I've kind of drifted away from some of my more important appointments, namely my time of growing with the Lord. I don't know where or when but it just seems like there are times when I'm drifting around with no direction, looking to cast my sail on a windless sea. I know I'm not the only one who has gone (or is going) through these times of wandering but the one thing I do realize is that as the book of James says...when we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.

I've had some incredible mornings where I've done just that. By making it a priority before the sun rises, before I go work out, before the kids and Jennifer get up for the day, I've found myself really hearing from God by praying, reading His word and just listening to His still small voice.

I've been reminded by a few pastors over the summer that God never stops loving us and that these times of "drifting" can actually be times of refinement or instruction. I heard one pastor say recently that even when we think we're producing good fruit, the Lord will prune us back again in order to make us even more productive. While I know that at particular times I can feel the momentary pain of His shears, I know that He is refining me for something bigger and better, according to His plan for my life.

There have been a lot of questions and concerns I've had recently about what God wants from me. I've even wondered if maybe it's not a "what" issue but perhaps it's a "where" issue. There are times that I really ask Him if our current church is where we need to be. It seems that within the past year or so, that "connections" that I had with that church 2 years ago are no longer there. Connections to the choir and worship ministry, the media department and even our small group.

What has caused this?

Is it me and my ego/pride? Is it my selfish ambition and dreams no longer being realized?
Is it a "new direction" reason that I'm no longer involved?
Is it me and my hurt feelings about not being used?
Am I looking to take my ball and go home?
Are we not connecting like we used to because of something within us or is it just a simple thing of people not being able to relate?
Are we not reaching out like we should or even like we used to?
Are others not reaching back or are we not feeling that reach?

Or is it really something like God is leading me and my family to a new place of worship, to a new body of believers and a new chapter in our lives?

There has obviously been a great deal of concern, pain and confusion over some of these things and I am confident that whatever issues have come up, I have had a large part in feeling what I am now feeling. The flesh is very quick to assess and place blame on others without accepting responsibility itself. Yet, I know that my personal pride and self are contributing factors as to why I feel this "disconnect".

Whatever the reasons are for feeling this way, I know that God will indeed give me clarity and peace about where, when and how we are supposed to do that which He wants for us. I also know that He will show me where and how I have failed. Yet, thank God for His mercy & grace...He will also restore me!

I just ask that if you read this today, you will lift us up in your prayers that whatever the outcome may be, God's name will be lifted up and we will be obedient to His call for our lives.