The "Eyes" Have It

For most of us reading this today, our eyes aren't what they used to be. I'd been really going back & forth with using reading glasses you get at Wal-Mart, buying a new pair or 2 and going up in power each time. I'd really begun to notice things getting blurry up close so I figured it was time to get some glasses to wear on a more permanent basis.

About a year or so ago, I finally got fitted for a pair of specs that actually had lineless bifocals as the lenses. What that means is that I had a bifocal lense in each frame but there was no visible divider that anyone could see on the outside of the lense. I think they call them "progressive lenses".

Anyway, I wore these glasses for a year about 80% of the time until I started noticing things getting a bit blurry again. My blood sugars had been more on the normal side so I didn't want to attribute the change in vision due to my diabetes. I figured my eyes must be changing again and some new, slightly more powerful lenses might be in order.

Long story short, I went in and had my vision tested and sure enough, my right eye (the weaker of the two) had lost some of it's normal power. The optometrist fitted me with a new set of frames and made the adjustment to order my new lenses and said they'd be in within about 10 days.

I'd kind of wanted to bring the new frames to the reunion in Chicago but they weren't going to be in in time. No biggie. I could at least still see out of my older frames.

Now a quick word about the new frames.

I'd seen a few of these frames on other guys and to describe them...well let's use the old adage "what's old is now new again".

The frames I liked were a bit on the "old" style, resembling the modern twist on the horn-rimmed variety. I was a little unsure if these frames would look good on me so I got a second opinion.

My daughter Kaitlyn.

"Those look COOOOOL, Daddy" she said excitedly with a huge grin on her face.

"You think?" I asked, still a bit uncertain.

"Yes! They look really good" she responded.

So I asked the optometrist to order me the new frames with my new lenses in them and I'd pick them up after the Chicago reunion.

Flash ahead to Tuesday after we got back. I got a phone call saying the new frames were in. Excitedly, I went down to the eye doctor's office to pick them up.

There they were...my new specs with a modern flare to them. "Nice" I thought as I slipped them on over my noggin.

That day it had rained pretty hard and the ground was still sopping wet. In fact, it was still raining as I left the optometrist's office. I had both kids in the Sequoia with me and we were on our way to meet Jennifer at a restaurant for supper. I was looking forward to showing her my new glasses, certain she'd find me even more attractive and irresistible than she already does.

We walked in to Shogun's and she warmly greeted the kids with a big hug & kiss. Then...she turn to me.

"Well" I asked "what do you think?"

Silence between us and that awkward, uncomfortable grin came across her face. Her eyes looked the glasses up & down & all around, the perma-grin still firmly in place.

"Wow!" she mustered from somewhere deep within. "Yeah...uhh..."

Oh come on, I thought to myself. Surely you can fake it a little bit better than that. She was still grinning to try and convince me she liked what she saw but I could see in her eyes she wasn't all that impressed.

"They look nice" she said in a high pitched voice.

Now, for any husbands out there who know their wives very well, normally when your wife talks to you in a high pitched voice and there's not a rolling pin in her hand, she's probably trying really hard to convince herself you look OK wearing a hot pink tie with a red & green striped shirt. It's the kind of high pitched voice that tries to elicit some sort of sincerity but hopes to cover the lack of it up with feigned enthusiasm.

After being with Jennifer for 20+ years, I'm onto her game by now.

"You don't like them, do you?" I queried, somewhat slightly hurt.

"Well, it's not that I don't like them...it's just going to take some time getting used to them" she meekly responded as she walked toward the table.

"Oh come on" I pleaded. "They look cool, right? Kaitlyn said they looked cool. Don't you think they look cool?"

"I'm sure I'll like them eventually. It just wasn't what I was expecting" she said.

"Oh boy" I muttered to myself. "What have I done?"

Of course, I sat right in front of a mirror there at Shogun's so I could see the "error" on my nose all throughout dinner. Every once in a while I'd look over at my beloved, hoping to find a sort of "warming up" to my new look. Toward the end of the teriyaki steak being dumped on our plates, I could tell she was starting to get used to the idea of her hubby looking like Groucho Marx from back in the day.

Kaitlyn, however, knows how to make her daddy feel good and even this morning commented again how "cool" I look with my new glasses.

At least the kids think I'm in fashion. LOL