A Whimsical Sonnet ("Ode To Ms. Muffet")

There once was a man whose name was Jim
He spent the afternoon outside
The children were laughing and running from him
Looking for a place to hide.

They were playing a game of Dodgeball & Tag
A combo of speed and good aim.
From tree to tree, from rock to crag
It was a wonderful game.

The temperatures rose as they became hot,
They paused for a nice cool drink.
The kids went in doors, tarrying not
As their father stopped to think.

"That garden" he thought "has become infested with weeds.
I think I shall yank them all out."
So he got on his knees, the sweat now in beads
His grasp was firm and stout.

Marigolds and lillies all overrun with grass
Such a shame to see them laden that way.
So he yanked and he pulled and tugged them en masse
Hoping to save them from decay.

The maple tree that was planted amidst in the garden
Had died a few months before.
It stood there all stark, barren and hardened
Never to bloom anymore.

As he continued his task, removing things never planted
That were now making the flowers' life ebb,
He noticed an eye level branch that was slanted-
Fastened to it was a sticky, spider's web.

He followed the line from the ground to the tree
To see where the web's line stopped.
What he saw made him gasp "you're kidding me"
Stunned & eyes wide, his jaw dropped.

There on the branch, a few feet off the ground
Sat a spider, black, shiny & yellow.
It had to have weighed at least 50 pounds
At least it was to this fellow.

Grabbing a twig, he attempted to pry
the spider away from the tree.
When all of a sudden came his son's feeble cry
"Daddy come play with me."

"Stay back Jake" Jim said "There's a big spider here.
I don't want you to get too close."
"Let me see" said Jake showing no fear
"Is that it? Ewww gross!!"

As Jake turned and ran, repulsed by what he saw
Jim realized what he must do.
He made the blow swift, quick off the draw
With the bottom of his Asics shoe.

He arose with some sadness, feelings of guilt
Emotions he now tried to buffet
For as he well knew from the friendships he'd built
They would now call ol' Jim "Miss Muffet".