A Special Night

I remember the night our daughter Kaitlyn was born. It was July 14th, 1998 and we were living in Columbia Missouri at the time. My wife Jennifer was finishing up her 3rd year of residency and I was program director of a classic rock station. Life was good and the expectancy of a new child was met with great anticipation and a bit of glamorized ideals of what it'd be like to raise a baby However, the moment I walked into the hospital and saw my wife begin to be induced, the stuff of my personal life began to ebb away and I knew there was never going to be a "me first" attitude. I'd had an inkling that my priorities were about to change but I had no idea how much.

I sat behind my wife's head as they began to "prep" her for a C-section. Now one thing about me you may not know, I've very squeamish about all the "inner workings" of the human body. It's good info to have but I don't necessarily want to see it first hand. So, I made sure I kept my head at her head level, behind a protective curtain, guaranteeing I couldn't see what was behind.

But when the words "here she is" came from the doctor's lips, I stood up to see this miracle God had blessed us with. I can still see what happened like it happened an hour ago.

As I raised my head above the curtain, I saw 2 gloved hands gently raising up this tiny, wet pink baby toward me. I was about to smile when the doctor turned Kaitlyn to face me directly.

Time stood still.

Those precious, innocent and newly opened big, brown eyes locked DIRECTLY on me and it was as if someone had hit me in the stomach with a sledgehammer. It was at that moment I fell instantly in love with this miracle. No amount of "mach-eees-mo" or brick & mortar could stop the tears and emotions I felt. I wept uncontrollably while laughing with joy as I sat back down next to Jennifer. She instantly said "is she OK?"

Before I could say anything, a tiny head appeared over the curtain and those beautiful little eyes peered down at us. I kissed my wife and we began to weep again as they took Kaitlyn to the next room to clean her up and get her dressed.

I didn't realize it until 2 days later but once I brought Kaitlyn out to show her off to all our families, I never let anyone hold her. No one. Not Jennifer's dad & step-mom, not GG or Bapa, not my mom...no one. I wasn't even trying to be selfish either. I guess I just never realized what it felt like to be a parent and I never wanted that moment to end.

Such love. Such devotion. Such joy. Such a feeling like I'd die for her in a minute if it'd save her a lifetime of pain.

Then, the first wake-up cries at 3am came as well as MY first diaper change (let me rephrase that...my first time to change Kaitlyn...not my diaper, although I was scared so badly as the nurse kicked open the door I might ought to have been wearing one)

That was nearly 8 years ago and since then, we've also welcomed our son Jacob into the world. I'll tell you more about him soon but becoming a parent was one of the greatest joys we've ever experienced together. It's a privilege and a responsibility we hold dearly because we realize that these kids are actually special treasures that God has allowed us to bring home and raise.

There's a song by Bill Gaither called "We'll Be There" and in it, he sings to his child a promise that no matter where the child is, no matter what the child does, he and Mommy will always be there. It's definitely a real tear-jerker for sure. But the line that always does me in is this one...

"Thanking God every day, that He sent you our way...and entrusted you ONCE...to our care, and wherever you roam, you can always come home...we'll be there."

I thank God for my kids. He has blessed us in so many ways and our children are a constant reminder of His faithfulness and love for US, as our Heavenly Father. A freind of mine, Darin Gray, once said one of the most powerful illustrations I've ever heard about God as our Father. He said during a quiet time at choir practice one night to just take some time out and be still before God. He said he often does this and he begins to imagine that he himself is a child, looking up into the loving, smiling face of Jesus and he crawls up into His lap, resting his head against His chest and allows Jesus to love him, comfort him and slowly rock him carefully as we would our own infants.

Imagine for a minute that image.

You. Me. An innocent child cradled in the lap of our Heavenly Father and He lovingly reassures us that no matter where we are or what we do...

He'll be there.