Remembering Gladys

Yesterday, January 5th, marked the 8th anniversary of the death of my wife's mother Gladys. She died from a long bout with breast cancer and sadly, only 6 months after the birth of our daughter Kaitlyn. Gladys had fought this horrible disease courageously for a number of years, focusing on the quality of life instead of the quantity of it. While many encouraged her to try more conventional ways to battle this cancer, Gladys wanted to enjoy as much of her life as normally as she could and therefore elected not to undergo the traditional chemo therapies and radiation techniques.

For a point of comparison, my step dad did go through the chemos and radiations in his final stages of fighting his cancer and we saw him weaken from those efforts until he became a frail, fragile man. I believe Gladys knew of this and wanted to not have to endure these very painful, debilitating conditions although she knew deep down the end result would eventually be the same.

One thing I can remember of Gladys was her zeal and spirit for life!! The Bible talks about having life more abundantly and living it as such. This is exactly how Glad lived her's...full of fun, adventure and making the absolute most of each opportunity. I think back to the times when she'd come visit Jennifer and me in Little Rock for a weekend that always included several trips to the mall, the movies and some great restaurants.

But to be honest with you, as I sit and reflect on this, I wish she could be here for her grandkids and especially her beautiful daughters.

I'd give anything to be able to have her pull up in our driveway in her maroon Honda Accord, bound up the sidewalk and flash us that grin and laugh as she hugged and kissed Jennifer, me and the grandchildren she never got to see grow up. I'd give anything to know that these kids had another grandmother who'd spoil them, love them, nurture them and come visit them.

Kaitlyn especially. Last weekend, Jennifer and Kate went out on a "girls' shopping date" as Mommy & daughter and Jen mentioned to me how Grandma Gladys would've loved to have been along, helping them shop & buy a bunch of things. Glad was definitely a great shopper and those genes have been passed along to Jennifer and Kaitlyn.

She was an incredibly special, vibrant woman. She had a career at one point as a stewardess for American Airlines and later became an author and creator of a child's character, Allie the Dragon. Allie came about during a time in Jennifer's life when she was extremely ill and Gladys came up with stories to help keep Jennifer's mind off things. Allie was a good dream dragon who brought about good dreams and wishes to children in the world who were sick and hurting.

In fact, as I looked over some of the early variants of Allie, it looked as if I were looking at the pre-cursor to what would eventually become Barney. I've no doubt that if Gladys would've tried to implement Allie's image, ideas and stories to toy companies back in the early 80's, she'd have beaten Barney out of the gate as far as the level of popularity he achieved.

In later years, Gladys took the idea of Allie and incorporated parts of his life with a story of when Jennifer was sick in real life. Glad's book was called "For The Love of Jenny" and although it did fairly well there in the Mountain Home area, it never achieved a large nationwide distribution. That didn't stop Gladys from traveling the country with a large 6 ft stuffed dragon and enlightening people about a horrible condition called Crohn's Disease. She was able to share her message on statewide television, in the Little Rock capital offices, to then governor Bill Clinton and even made it to Washington DC to join national lobbyists all fighting to bring awareness to this debilitating disease.

Actually, we now have that stuffed dragon in our attic and several green Allie dragon prototypes running around our home. We even have a few pink girl dragons but I'm not sure what her name is.

Gladys was always good for encouragement too. When I was beginning my career in radio, she would often come over and take us out to eat. She had ideas on how I could better myself and each time she always told me that I could do anything if I just put my mind to it. Jennifer and I still to this day laugh about how she'd say something like "you really should think about doing that...I'm serious." Not because of what she said but because she meant it whole-heartedly and she said it quite often to keep reminding us.

Now, through the blessings of God above and His direction in our lives, we see that she was right in encouraging us to follow our dreams.

After all, Jennifer and I still have each other and that has been an amazing dream come true for me.

I know my wife is still mourning the loss of both her parents, especially her mom. It's this pain that I, as her husband, would do anything I could to take it away from her. I know that one day we'll see Gladys again in heaven, along with many of our loved ones and what a reunion time that will be.

Yet, as we all look forward to that day when we can not only see loved ones who've passed away but we can also gaze upon the face of our Lord & Savior, we do what we can each day to get through without having our moms, dads, grandparents and loved ones here on earth with us.

This picture of Gladys shows her on the beach in Florida. That was always one of her favorite places and it's one of our family's as well. You can see the smile on her face but you can also see it in her eyes, her posture and her spirit. You see the carefree way in which she walked through life. You see the way she looked at things through positive, encouraging eyes. You can see how happy she is and I imagine her today on the beaches of the crystal sea, smiling brightly at the Father and walking along with a song in her heart.

Gladys, yesterday may have been an anniversary of your passing but today is a day we remember you and your life with love and respect. You showed us how to face the giants in our lives and beat them with a smile. You told us time and time again that we can do anything we set our minds to. You taught us how a parent loves her child at any price, at any cost and through any season of life.

We miss you tremendously and see you in our kids each and every day. Our love for you continues to grow stronger, regardless of if you are alive or in heaven...that is one thing that will never change. Thank the Lord that you are now in a better place, free of pain and disease yet full of joy, peace and love.

Thank you for remaining as a shining light in our lives.

We love you...